Stiffy Makane: Apocolocyntosis — 41 of 235

One of the Bruces and Drunken Bastard

Release 1

Book Three - "Curia"

Part One - "Geography"

The Curia Steps is north of the Forum. "The Curia Steps lead up to the Curia to the north; the Forum is south." Before going north from the Curia Steps: if Caesar is in the Curia Steps, instead say "Caesar and his friends are in your way." Instead of going up in the Curia Steps, try going north. Instead of going inside in the Curia Steps, try going north.

The Curia Interior is north of the Curia Steps. The description is "The Curia is still under reconstruction; renovations won't be completed for quite some time[2 as a footnote]. For the time being, the Senate still meets over at Pompey's porch. Frankly, this place is basically just a construction site. Steps to the Forum lead down to the south." Instead of going down in the Curia Interior, try going south. The Curia Steps is outside from the Curia Interior.

The site_scenery is scenery in the Curia Interior. The printed name is "construction site". The description is "Lengths of timber, marble floor slabs, column sections, nails, sawdust." Understand "site", "construction", "renovation", "renovations", "timber", "wood", "board", "boards", "nail", "nails", "column", "section", "sections", "columns", "marble", "stone", "slabs", "slab", "sawdust", "dust", and "floor" as the site_scenery. Instead of taking the site_scenery, say "If you were a Village Person, you would be the Leather Man, not the Construction Worker."

Some steps_scenery is a backdrop. They are in the Curia Interior. They are in the Curia Steps. They are in the Forum. They are ambiguously plural. The printed name is "Curia steps". The description is "Wide, but unremarkable, steps leading from the Forum up into the Curia[If Caesar is in the Curia Steps and the location is not the Curia Steps]. There are several men in togas gathered on the steps[end if]." Understand "steps", "stairs", "step", and "stair" as steps_scenery.

Some curia_scenery_blood is scenery. The printed name is "'blood'". Understand "blood", "'blood", "semen", "sperm", "spooge", "spunk", "jizz", "jizm", "cum", "load", and "loads" as the curia_scenery_blood. The description is "Now there's 'blood' all over the steps where Caesar and his friends were." The curia_scenery_blood can be edible. The curia_scenery_blood is edible. The curia_scenery_blood can be drinkable. The curia_scenery_blood is drinkable. Before taking the curia_scenery_blood, instead say "Restrain your Dillinger fantasies." Before eating the curia_scenery_blood, instead say "Although you have very little shame, lapping semen from a puddle on the Curia steps is beneath even you." Instead of drinking or tasting the scenery_blood, try eating the curia_scenery_blood. Instead of doing anything other than taking, drinking, or tasting with the curia_scenery_blood, say "Perhaps not."

The velvet bag is a container in the Curia Interior. "An olive-colored velvet bag rests empty on the ground here." The description is "This is an olive-colored velvet bag; it's large enough to hold, say, a large melon, or a human head. Unfortunately, it has a fairly large hole partway down one side." Instead of wearing the bag, say "But then you couldn't see. The hole isn't that near the bottom." Instead of fucking the bag, say "Although the velvet would probably feel nice, that's not a very alluring proposition." Instead of inserting something into the bag, say "The hole in the bag makes this unlikely to work very well for very long." Instead of touching or rubbing the bag, say "It's a lovely velvety texture." Instead of searching the bag, say "The interior of the bag is dark and velvety. There's nothing in it, because, you know, there's that big hole in it." Instead of rolling the bag, say "You roll up the bag. It unrolls. Whee."

The hole is part of the velvet bag. The description is "It's a hole maybe three inches across and an inch high. It is large enough and near enough the bottom of the bag to make trying to carry things in the bag a bad idea." Instead of fucking the hole, try fucking the bag. Instead of inserting something into the hole, say "What would be the point?"