Stiffy Makane: Apocolocyntosis — 75 of 235

One of the Bruces and Drunken Bastard

Release 1

Book Three - "The Golden Ass"

Part One - "Poop Deck"

The Poop Deck is a room. "This is the poop deck of [italic type]The Golden Ass[roman type], your father's pride and joy. One of the first ships in his merchant fleet, it is one of the smaller ones now, but the most luxuriously appointed.";

The gangway is a thing in the Poop Deck. It is fixed in place. The gangway can be enterable. It has some text called the destination. The description is "It's a plain wooden gangway on the port side, allowing you to descend into [destination]." It is enterable. Instead of entering the gangway, try going port. Instead of going down in the Poop Deck when the gangway is visible, try going port. Understand "wooden" and "wood" as the gangway. The destination of the gangway is "Ostia". Instead of exiting in the Poop Deck when the gangway is visible, try going port. Does the player mean doing something with the gangway: it is likely.

The scenery_ship_deck is a backdrop in the Poop Deck. The description is "It's a perfectly ordinary wooden ship's deck." Understand "ship" and "deck" as the scenery_ship_deck. The printed name is "deck".

The scenery_poop_sea is a backdrop in the Poop Deck. The scenery_poop_sea can be enterable. It is enterable. It is in Poop_Deck. The description is "The sea laps at the side of the ship." Understand "blue", "sea", "harbor", "ocean", "Mediterranean", and "water" as the scenery_poop_sea. Instead of entering the scenery_sea, consider the harbor-swimming rule. Instead of jumping into the scenery_sea, try entering the scenery_sea.

This is the harbor-swimming rule:

instead say "You would look and feel stupid paddling around the [destination of the gangway] harbor."

Rule for printing room description details of the gangway:

say " (leading to [destination of the gangway])";

Before going port in the Poop Deck:

if the gangway is in the Poop Deck


choose row with a ship-present of "yes" in the Table of Ports;

let L be the disembarkation-location entry;

say "You trudge down the gangway into [destination of the gangway].";

if L is Carthage and Carthage is not warned_about


now Carthage is warned_about;

say "[paragraph break][paragraph break][paragraph break][italic type]To Carthage then I came[paragraph break][paragraph break]Burning burning burning burning[roman type][56 as a reference][paragraph break][paragraph break][paragraph break]";

end if;

move the player to L;

stop the action;

end if.

Instead of shitting in the Poop Deck, say "Oddly enough, you[apostrophe]re not supposed to poop on the Poop Deck. It's not fair at all."

After deciding the scope of the player when the location is the Poop Deck:

choose row with a ship-present of "yes" in the Table of Ports;

if there is a sky entry


place the sky entry in scope;

end if.