Stiffy Makane: Apocolocyntosis — 68 of 235

One of the Bruces and Drunken Bastard

Release 1

Section Two - "The Great God Glub"

Glub is a man in the House_Of_Glub. "[if the House_Of_Glub is not visited]A noisome, gelatinous [italic type]thing[roman type] occupies the center of the pool. It extrudes a glaring red eye and considers you. Then it begins to laugh, in a voice like gas bubbles breaking the surface of a cesspool. 'So pleased you could join me, Stiffy. Allow me to introduce myself. I am the Great God Glub.' It twirls your father's signet ring on one delicate pseudopod. 'Bet you'd like this back, wouldn't you?'[otherwise]Glub lounges in the center of the pool." The description of Glub is "Loathsome and nauseating in the extreme, Glub is a roughly nine-foot-tall cone-like mass, striated in disgusting blackish greens, foul browns and yellows, and sickly translucent grays and ambers, speckled with glaring red eyes[54 as a reference]." Understand "Juiblex", "Faceless", "Lord", "Great", "God", "Tsathoggua", "toad", "nine", "foot", "nine-foot", "cone-like", "striated", "black", "blackish", "green", "greens", "foul", "disgusting", "loathsome", "nauseating", "brown", "browns", "yellow", "yellows", "sickly", "translucent", "grey", "gray", "greys", "grays", "amber", "ambers", "red", "glaring", "eyes", "eye", "ooze", "pseudopod", "delicate", "thing", "noisome", "caustic", and "cone" as Glub. The default reply of Glub is "Glub makes no reply, beyond a farting burble and a roll of half-a-dozen or so red eyes. ". The conversation of Glub is the Table of Glub's Chatter. Rule for deciding the concealed possessions of Glub: no. Glub has a horniness. Glub is unaroused.

The glub_ceiling is a sky_scenery in House_of_Glub. The description is "Dark stone, caked with slime, looms overhead. Most of the Ostia sewer system empties into this room: the ceiling is dotted with hundreds of pipe ends, providing a constant drizzle of sewage." Understand "ceiling", "pipe", "pipes", "end", "ends", "stone", "dark", "caked", "slime", and "overhead" as the glub_ceiling.

Instead of giving or showing something that is not the invitation token to Glub:

say "A ripple, which you understand as a shrug, passes through Glub."

Instead of showing the invitation token to Glub:

say "Glub burbles, 'Hand it over and the ring is yours.'"

Instead of waving the invitation token when the location is House_Of_Glub, try showing the invitation token to glub.

Instead of giving the invitation token to Glub:

say "Glub takes the brass token with a careful pseudopod. With another one, he hands you the signet ring. 'A pleasure doing business, Mr. Makane,' he gurgles. 'Feel free to stop in any time.'";

now the signet ring is held by Stiffy Makane;

really have the parser notice the invitation token;

move the invitation token to Limbo.

Instead of touching, rubbing, sucking, fucking, blowing, kissing, or wanking off Glub for the first time:

say "Something, perhaps the fact that the object of your affection is a nine-foot pile of caustic ooze, warns you that this would be dangerous."

Instead of touching, rubbing, sucking, fucking, blowing, kissing, or wanking off Glub:

say "You surrender yourself utterly to the embrace of the Great God Glub.";

end the story saying "You have dissolved into the noisome majesty that is Glub".

Table of Glub's Chatter

topicreplysummaryturn stamp
"ring""'As it happens, I hear that Fatty Norbanus is having one of his little shindigs. I'd like to go. I'll trade you the ring for an invitation[22 as a footnote].'""you can have the ring in exchange for an invitation to Fatty Norbanus's party"--
"Fatty/Norbanus/Gaius/Flaccus/party/invitation" or "Norbanus Flaccus" or "Gaius Norbanus Flaccus" or "Fatty Norbanus""'He throws great parties, and it's rude even for a god to crash one. He spends a lot of time at the baths.'""he wants to go to Fatty's party, and says that Fatty spends a lot of time at the baths"--
"Juiblex" or "Faceless Lord""A dozen or so eyes roll. 'Yes, yes, Juiblex is one of my monikers as well.'""Juiblex is another of his names"--
"Jubilex""'Arrrgh. Get it right!' groans Glub. 'It's [italic type]Juiblex[roman type], not [italic type]Jubilex[roman type].'""Juiblex, not Jubilex"--
"Eihort""A squleching sigh: 'Some know me, indeed, as Eihort.'""he also goes by Eihort"--
"Tsathoggua""'Yep, that's another of my names. Well-spotted. I guess the toad gave it away.'""he is also known as Tsathoggua"--
"Toad/frog/Pierre""'Old Pierre is one of my favorite minions.'""his minion Pierre is a toad, and one of his favorites"--
"Syra""'She might be cute, but don't let anyone tell you her shit don't stink.'""Syra's excrement is nothing special"--

Before asking Glub about "signet", instead try asking Glub about "ring".

Before asking Glub about "signet ring", instead try asking Glub about "ring".

Before asking Glub about "ring":

if Glub is not warned_about


now Glub is warned_about;

end if.