Stiffy Makane: Apocolocyntosis — 39 of 235

One of the Bruces and Drunken Bastard

Release 1

Book Two - "Temple of Jupiter Virilis"

Part One - "Geography"

The Temple of Jupiter Virilis is west of the Forum. The description is "This is a large temple dedicated to the god Jupiter in his aspect as Inseminator. The Cultic Statue fills the center of the room; a small archway in its base, to the west, leads inside. The forum is outside, to the east." The Forum is outside from the Temple of Jupiter Virilis.

The scenery_statue is scenery in the Temple of Jupiter Virilis. The printed name is "cultic statue". Understand "cultic", "statue", "cultic statue", "phallus", "arch", and "archway" as scenery_statue. The description of the scenery_statue is "An eighteen foot-high phallus, gold-plated, and named 'Sparky[1 as a footnote][15 as a reference],' stands proudly erect here." Understand "Sparky" as scenery_statue. Check taking the scenery_statue: instead say "Even on your best days, eighteen feet of penis is a bit much for you." Instead of sucking the scenery_statue: try tasting the scenery_statue. Instead of tasting the scenery_statue for the first time, say "The phallus tastes of metal. Maybe it's your imagination, but it seems to stand a little straighter and shine a little brighter now." Instead of tasting the scenery_statue, say "It tastes of metal." Instead of entering the scenery_statue, try going west. Instead of looking under the scenery_statue, say "It's sitting firmly on the ground." Instead of climbing the scenery_statue, try taking the scenery_statue. Instead of rubbing the scenery_statue, say "Perhaps it stands slightly straighter now."

The Phallus Interior is west of the Temple of Jupiter Virilis. "It's snug in here. There's a little stone altar about four feet long in here, with large marble spheres at each side. A small archway leads east back to the Temple of Jupiter Virilis." The Temple of Jupiter Virilis is outside from the Phallus Interior.

The scenery_archway is scenery in the Phallus Interior. The printed name is "archway". The description is "The archway leads back out to the interior of the temple." Understand "phallus", "arch" and "archway" as the scenery_archway. Instead of entering the scenery_archway, try going east.

The stone altar is a supporter in the Phallus Interior. It is scenery. Instead of taking the stone altar, say "It's plainly far too heavy to lift." The description is "This is a small stone altar, stained with centuries[apostrophe] worth of bodily fluids." It is enterable. Understand "stains", "stain", "fluid", "fluids", "blood", "cum", "semen", and "sperm" as the altar.

Some spheres are scenery in the phallus. They are ambiguously plural. Understand "sphere", "ball", "lumpy", "pitted", "slick", and "balls" as spheres. The description is "The spheres are lumpy and pitted; clearly they are very old indeed." Instead of smelling, tasting, or eating the spheres, say "Salty." Instead of touching or rubbing the spheres, say "Slick and pitted." Instead of rolling the spheres, say "The spheres are either too heavy to move, or simply affixed to the floor." Instead of climbing the spheres, say "You try to scramble onto one of the spheres, but the stone is slick, and you slide off again."