Stiffy Makane: Apocolocyntosis — 230 of 235

One of the Bruces and Drunken Bastard

Release 1

Chapter One - "Dirty Jokes"

Some dirty jokes are scenery in the Grand Palace. They are ambiguously plural. Instead of listening to the dirty jokes, try examining the dirty jokes. Instead of listening when the location is the Grand Palace, try listening to the dirty jokes.

Table of Jokesters


Table of Dirty Jokes

used (a number)joke (some text)
0"the travelling salesman who stopped for the night at a farmer's house"
0"the man who met a leprechaun in a bar"
0"the blind men and the elephant"
0"the camel and the miners in the desert"
0"lipstick and pigs"
0"picking the ugly one from the flock of sheep"
0"ten denarii, same as downtown"
0"the Vestal Virgin, the Parthian, and the dog"
0"Odysseus, the Cyclops, and the Cyclops's wife"
0"the boy who walked into a brothel with a dead frog on a string"
0"the Aristocrats"

The global_rows_dirty_jokes_used is a number that varies. The global_rows_dirty_jokes_used is 0.

Instead of examining the dirty jokes:

let B be global_rows_dirty_jokes_used;

let N be the number of rows in the Table of Dirty Jokes;

if B > N - 2


repeat through Table of Dirty Jokes


now the used entry is 0;

end repeat;

now global_rows_dirty_jokes_used is 0;

end if;

choose a random row in the Table of Dirty Jokes;

while the used entry is 1


choose a random row in the Table of Dirty Jokes;

end while;

let J be the joke entry;

now the used entry is 1;

increase the global_rows_dirty_jokes_used by 1;

choose a random row in the Table Of Jokesters;

say "[Jokester entry] tells the one about [J]. His compatriots snort and chortle and slap their knees."