Stiffy Makane: Apocolocyntosis — 21 of 235

One of the Bruces and Drunken Bastard

Release 1

Chapter Two - "Prayers"

Table of Prayer

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unknown"#NONE,""#&^#$""The gods are silent.""The gods are silent."a numbera room

Table of Prayer (Continued)

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hint_battlement_intro"Icarus""Icarus""Jump!""Icarus said to jump."----
hint_lake_intro"Neptune""Neptune/Poseidon""Looks like you[apostrophe]re gonna drown.""Neptune said you were going to drown."----

Table of Prayer (Continued)

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hint_caesar"Eros""Eros""I think you should go ahead and bone Caesar. He[apostrophe]s pretty hot.""Eros thought you should bang Julius Caesar."----
hint_julia"Jupiter Virilis""Jupiter/Virilis" or "Jupiter Virilis""See if you can get my priest back in here, ready to perform his duty.""Jupiter Virilis said you should get the priest back in."----
hint_priest"Jupiter Virilis""Jupiter/Virilis" or "Jupiter Virilis""Maybe you can find some way to distract him from Julia[apostrophe]s, ah, less appealing features?""Jupiter Virilis wanted you to find a way to distract the priest from his problem with Julia."----
hint_artist"Polymnia[12 as a footnote]""Polymnia""Artists need two things: materials and material support.""Polymnia said that the artist needs both materials and money."----
hint_apple_dark"Erebus""Erebus""Beware the dark. [italic type]Muahahahahaha[roman type]!""Erebus warned you to beware the darkness."----
hint_apple_light"Eris""Eris/Discordia""Give it to me, Stiffy. Give it to me [italic type]hard[roman type].""Eris wanted you to fuck her, apparently."----
hint_alleymaze"Mercury""Mercury/Hermes""Alleys are shady places, full of criminals. Don[apostrophe]t drop anything, and especially don[apostrophe]t drop the soap! Also, as mazes go, this isn[apostrophe]t a tough one.""Mercury has warned you to be extra-careful in alleys, and that the Twisty Little Alley is not a difficult maze."----
hint_slutty_julia"Jupiter Virilis""Jupiter/Virilis" or "Jupiter Virilis""Give her what she wants.""Jupiter said you should satisfy Julia."----

Table of Prayer (Continued)

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hint_lovenest"Priapus""Priapus""Hey, finally some lube! Have a wank!""Priapus said you should beat off."----
hint_dockside"Abeona[14 as a footnote]""Abeona""You[apostrophe]d best get the signet ring to show to Bruno.""Abeona told you to get your father[apostrophe]s signet ring."----
hint_cocky"Jupiter Virilis""Jupiter/Virilis" or "Jupiter Virilis""Show him evidence of my favor.""Jupiter said you should prove to your father that you have divine favor."----
hint_filthy"Sterculius[16 as a footnote]""Sterculius/Sterculus""If you really feel you [italic type]must[roman type] get clean, you should probably go to the baths.""Sterculius said you should take a bath if you wanted to get the sewage off you."----
hint_sewers"Cloacina[19 as a footnote]""Cloacina""You probably need to wander more through these lovely, lovely sewers.""Cloacina advised you to explore more of the sewers."----
hint_grate"Cardea[20 as a footnote]""Cardea""Seems to me that you ought to unlock the grate, so you can exercise those hinges.""Cardea said you needed to unlock the grate."----
hint_glub"Glub""Glub/Tsathoggua/Juiblex""WORSHIP ME, MORTAL! WHO[apostrophe]S MY BITCH?""Glub was just a dick about your worship."----
hint_sewer_dark"Erebus""Erebus""Beware the dark. [italic type]Muahahahahaha[roman type]!""Erebus warned you to beware the darkness."----
hint_wait"Sterculius[16 as a footnote]""Sterculius/Sterculus""Give the privy some time to air out.""Sterculius said you needed to wait for the privy to air out."----

Table of Prayer (Continued)

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hint_palinurus"Neptune""Neptune/Poseidon""Ask Palinurus where he can take you.""Neptune said to ask Palinurus about destination ports."----

Table of Prayer (Continued)

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hint_archie"Priapus""Priapus""Might as well get some shore leave in.""Priapus said to take advantage of the downtime."----

Table of Prayer (Continued)

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hint_clap"Asclepius""Asclepius""You should seek medical attention.""Asclepius said to find a doctor."----
hint_gate"Jana""Jana/Janus""Hmmm. I guess it's a big secret how to open the gate. I wonder who can tell you secrets?""Jana said you needed to find someone to tell you the secret of the necropolis gate"----
hint_weed"Flora""Flora""The doctor told you that magic weed grows on graves. Why don't you try searching some of the tombs for it?""Flora suggested you search some of the tombs for the weed."----

Table of Prayer (Continued)

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hint_cuma"Apollo""Apollo""You came here to ask the Sybil's advice, right?""Apollo told you to address your queries to the Sybil."----

Table of Prayer (Continued)

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hint_jonah"Yahweh""Jehovah/Jehova/Yahweh/YHWH/God/G-d/JHVH/El-Shaddai""Jonah? What are you doing there? Get down to Nineveh and preach, already!""Yahweh mistook you for Jonah, and told you to go to Nineveh to preach."----
hint_judaea"Yahweh""Jehovah/Jehova/Yahweh/YHWH/God/G-d/JHVH/El-Shaddai""[bold type]THOU SHALT HAVE NO OTHER GODS BEFORE ME[roman type]. And I refuse to give you any help until you get circumcised. Chop chop!""Yahweh told you that a) you were to worship only him, and b) cut the end of your pecker off. Yeah, like [italic type]that's[roman type] gonna happen."----

Table of Prayer (Continued)

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hint_alexandria"Thoth""Thoth""You should ask a librarian to find out the lore of the Golden Banana.""Thoth suggested that you get a librarian to research the Golden Banana for you."----
hint_currants"Pomona[35 as a footnote]""Pomona""I bet that guard would like some fruit.""Pomona suggested you find the guard some fruit."
hint_serapis"Pluto""Pluto/Hades/Serapis""I've heard of you, mister. When you get down to my kingdom, stay away from my wife!""Pluto said you'd better stay away from his wife."----
hint_coffin"Libitina[34 as a footnote]""Naena/Libitina""You might want to take a peek in Alexander's mausoleum.""Libitina said you should look inside Alexander's tomb."----
hint_cleopatra"Priapus""Priapus""Can you hear me rolling my eyes? I'm rolling my eyes. C'mon, buddy, what do you [italic type]think[roman type] you should do?""Priapus was astonished that you hadn't yet tried to seduce Cleopatra."----
hint_alexander"Priapus""Priapus""So maybe it's a little nasty, but how often are you going to be all alone with the corpse of the greatest conqueror ever?""Priapus suggested that you should take advantage of the unique opportunity to bone Alexander's corpse."----

Table of Prayer (Continued)

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hint_circumcision"Puta""Puta""'You've got to get the skin off that banana some way.'""Puta[40 as a footnote] said you'd need to peel the Golden Banana."----

Table of Prayer (Continued)

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hint_pirates"Nehalennia[42 as a footnote]""Nehalennia""'Why did they put you through to me? I'm a [italic type]Celtic[roman type] goddess. You're on your own.""Nehalennia said that, as you're a Roman rather than a Celtic traveller, you were on your own."-- --
hint_cabin_boy"Clayton Williams""Clayton/Williams" or "Clayton Williams""'It's inevitable, so you might as well relax and enjoy it[79 as a reference].""Clayton Williams advised you to relax and enjoy being raped by the pirate captain."----
hint_rowing"Poena[44 as a footnote]""Poena""'Ha! Suck it up and do as you're told!""Poena told you to do as you were told in the Galley."----
hint_woad"Don Woods""Don/Woods/Crowther/Will" or "Don Woods" or "Will Crowther""Get out of this the same way you got into it: an ancient and mysterious Word of Power.""Don Woods told you that you needed to re-invoke an ancient and mysterious Word of Power."----

Table of Prayer (Continued)

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hint_battlement_recap"Icarus""Icarus""Jump!""Icarus said to jump."----
hint_lake_recap"Neptune""Neptune/Poseidon""Looks like you[apostrophe]re gonna drown.""Neptune said you were going to drown."----

Table of Prayer (Continued)

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hint_alley"Mercury""Mercury/Hermes""Alleys are shady places, full of criminals. Don[apostrophe]t drop anything, and especially don[apostrophe]t drop the soap!""Mercury has warned you to be extra-careful in alleys."----
hint_bone"Pluto""Pluto/Hades/Serapis""You might look around to see who could use a new femur. And keep your hands off my wife!""Pluto told you to look for someone who needed a new femur, and to stay away from Persephone."----
hint_bone_boned"Pluto""Pluto/Hades/Serapis""You boned my wife. I[apostrophe]m not helping you. Fuck off.""Pluto was peeved with you for fucking Persephone."----
hint_persephone"Persephone""Persephone""I sure could use that hat, Stiffy!""Persephone wanted Stetson[apostrophe]s hat."----
hint_stetson"Vertumnus[15 as a footnote]""Vertumnus""He[apostrophe]s got a really nice garden, but you might want to find out what[apostrophe]s buried in it.""Vertumnus said there[apostrophe]s something buried in Stetson[apostrophe]s garden."----
hint_cerberus_guarding"Janus""Janus""You[apostrophe]ve gotta get the dog away from the gate before you can go through it.""Janus told you to get Cerberus away from the gate."----
hint_cerberus_intrigued"Vertumnus[15 as a footnote]""Vertumnus""That dog will follow you now; take him to the garden.""Vertumnus told you to take the dog to the garden."----
hint_tiresias"Eros""Eros""How many times are you going to get the chance to fuck a hermaphrodite?""Eros said you should bang Tiresias."----
hint_sweeny"Bacchus""Bacchus/Dionysos""Poor Sweeny seems awfully thirsty. Find him a drink.""Bacchus wanted you to bring Sweeny a drink."----
hint_olive"Ceres""Ceres/Demeter""That olive really needs brining. Have you seen any vinegar?""Ceres felt you could use vinegar to brine the olive."----
hint_madame"Bacchus""Bacchus/Dionysos""Madame Sosostris would follow someone who brought her an olive just about anywhere.""Bacchus thought you should find an olive for Madame Sosostris."----
hint_charon"Asclepius""Asclepius""Charon[apostrophe]s leg is bothering him. Seen anything that might help?""Asclepius thought that Charon[apostrophe]s leg needed fixing, and that you could help him."----
hint_agamemnon"Sterculius[16 as a footnote]""Sterculius/Sterculus""Some people don[apostrophe]t like being constantly shat upon. Can you find him a shield?""Sterculius sent you to find something to shield Agamemnon from the bird guano."----
hint_tantalus"Bacchus""Bacchus/Dionysos""Tantalus is really, [italic type]really[roman type] thirsty. Get that man a drink!""Bacchus commanded you to get Tantalus a drink."----
hint_sweeny_horny"Venus""Venus/Aphrodite""Maybe you could fix Sweeny up with a date?""Venus wanted you to find Sweeny a date."----
hint_madame_horny"Venus""Venus/Aphrodite""Madame S. needs to get laid. Badly.""Venus thought Madame Sosostris needed to find a man."----
hint_grahams"Mercury""Mercury/Hermes""The Grahams are pretty boring, but they[apostrophe]ve got something you need. Best separate them from it.""Mercury told you that the Grahams had something you needed, which you needed to part them from."----

Table of Prayer (Continued)

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hint_kentucky"Don Woods""Don/Woods/Crowther/Will" or "Don Woods" or "Will Crowther""Heh. Sorry, Stiffy: you[apostrophe]re fucked.""Don Woods told you that you[apostrophe]re fucked."----

Table of Prayer (Continued)

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hint_mantua"Calliope[46 as a footnote]""Calliope/Kalliope""Why don't you do what Vergil suggests?""Calliope suggested you follow Vergil's lead."----
hint_doolittle"Diana""Diana""'Wouldn't it be nice to be able to understand that duck better?'""Diana thinks you should find a way to understand the duck."----
hint_good_wine"Bacchus""Bacchus/Dionysos""The good wine probably will take some finding.""Bacchus said that the good wine was probably better-hidden"----
hint_moonmilk"Luna""Luna/Selene""Have a closer look at the moonmilk.""Luna told you to examine the moonmilk more carefully"----

Table of Prayer (Continued)

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hint_fur"Chione""Chione/Khione""You'd better find some warm clothing""Chione suggested you find some warm clothes."----
hint_stick"Mercury""Mercury/Hermes""A walking stick would come in handy""Mercury told you to find a walking stick."----

Table of Prayer (Continued)

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hint_trivia"Trivia""Trivia""Oh, well played. I am indeed Trivia, goddess of the Three Ways, slightly fewer than half of the liberal arts, esoteric knowledge, sixty-degree circular wedges, text adventurers, and, as I mentioned, the Last Lousy Point. Would you like to score it? It's yours for the taking.""Trivia confirmed your guess at her identity."----

[ Abeona: 14 ]

[ Vertumnus: 15 ]

[ Sterculius: 16 ]

[ Libitina: 34 ]

[ Pomona: 35 ]

[ Nehalennia: 42 ]

[ Poena: 44 ]