Chapter Three - "Wrinkled Dougs"
The wrinkled Dougs are men in Little Thebes. "Two identical, wrinkled old men stand here, despondently." The description is "A pair of identical wrinkled old men, each with a nametag reading 'Doug.'" The indefinite article of the Dougs is "the". The default reply of the wrinkled Dougs is "'Ask Tiresias, if you want to know anything. We are the wrinkled Dougs[24 as a reference]. Our only function is to serve eternally as lame puns in the Underworld. Alas!' ". Understand "identical", "men", "Doug", "old", "despondent", and "wrinkled man" as the wrinkled Dougs. After examining the wrinkled Dougs: now the wrinkled Dougs are handled. 
Instead of smelling the wrinkled Dougs, say "Old urine and despair." Instead of kissing, buggering, rubbing, touching, sucking, fucking, blowing, wanking off, or eating the wrinkled Dougs, say "Ugh." The wrinkled Dougs are unspeakable.