Stiffy Makane: Apocolocyntosis — 133 of 235

One of the Bruces and Drunken Bastard

Release 1

Volume Eleven - "Macedonia"

Macedonia is a region. Thessalonica Docks, Prionia, and Litochoro are rooms in Macedonia.

The macedonian_sky_scenery is sky_scenery. It is in Thessalonica Docks, Prionia, and Litochoro. The description is "The sun beams down from a clear blue sky." Understand "blue", "sky", "sun", and "breeze" as macedonian_sky_scenery.

Thessalonica Docks is a room. The description is "There's really nothing much to Thessalonica: docks and warehouses, and that's about it. Slack-jawed rustics dully chew their cuds, regarding you with bovine, placid, incurious eyes. A road leads out of town to the west, in the general direction of Thessaly and Mount Olympus. The [italic type]Golden Ass[roman type] rides at anchor to the south."

Some scenery_thessalonica_docks are scenery in Thessalonica Docks. The printed name is "docks". The description is "The docks and warehouses are exactly what you'd expect to find in a podunk town on a harbor." Understand "dock", "docks", "warehouse", "warehouses", "podunk" and "harbor" as the scenery_thessalonica_docks. Instead of doing anything other than examining with the scenery_thessalonica_docks, say "The docks are of no interest to you."

Some macedonian_pbs are men in Thessalonica Docks. They are ambiguously plural. The printed name is "Macedonian rustics". They are scenery. The description of the macedonian_pbs is "The dull eyes and slack jaws of the Macedonians betray them as unsophisticated rustics." Understand "crowd", "crowds", "man", "woman", "men", "people", "passer", "passers", "passerby", "passer-byes", "passers-by", "women", "macedonian", "macedonians", "rustic", "rustics", "eye", "eyes", "jaw", "jaws", "slack", "slack-jawed", "yokel", "yokels", "dull", "dull-eyed", "dully", "chewing", "cud", "cuds", "bovine", "placid", "incurious", "unsophisticated", and "Cletus" as macedonian_pbs. The default reply of the macedonian_pbs is "You might just as well try to have a conversation with a cow." Instead of pushing, pulling, or attacking the macedonian_pbs, say "If there's anything unsophisticated rustics are good at, it's gratuitous physical brutality. Better not." Instead of fucking the macedonian_pbs, say "Your standards are not yet quite that debased."

Instead of going south in Thessalonica Docks, consider the all-aboard-the-ass rule.

Before going west in Thessalonica Docks:

if the player does not enclose the golden banana or the golden banana is not warned_about, instead say "Eris's voice speaks in your ear. 'Whoa! Hold your horses, Stiffy! No sense in braving Olympus until you have the banana[if the banana is not_warned_about] and it's been peeled[end if].'";

say "You embark on the long trek towards Olympus, passing through the town of Dion, and eventually coming to the end of the road at Litochoro."

Litochoro is a room. It is west of Thessalonica. The description is "Litochoro is an unprepossessing village at the foot of Mount Olympus. A road to the north leads back towards Thessalonica. Olympus itself rises mighty to the west, its peaks hidden by clouds. A rough track leads up its slopes. All the doors and windows are shuttered and barred. No people are evident; no dogs frolic in the street; even the few flies seeem to buzz timidly and silently, as if afraid of the wrath of the too-near gods." Instead of going north in Litochoro, try going east. Instead of going up in Litochoro, try going west.

A threadbare fur cloak is a garment in Litochoro. "A discarded and threadbare fur cloak lies in a heap on the ground here." The description is "The fur cloak has seen better years. It appears to be made from bearskin. Although it is ripped in places, has lost much of its fur, and has been ill-treated, it is still fairly serviceable." Understand "ripped", "bear", "bearskin", and "cape" as the threadbare fur cloak. The warmth of the threadbare fur cloak is 5.

The scenery_track is scenery in Litochoro. The description is "A rough track winds up into the mountains." Instead of doing anything other than examining with the scenery_track, try examining the scenery_track. The printed name is "track". Understand "rough" and "track" as the scenery_track.

Before going east in Litochoro, say "You start along the northern road, through Dion, arriving finally at the docks in Thessalonica."

Scenery_litochoro is scenery in Litochoro. The description is "The town is deathly still. No movement disturbs the streets, no sounds punctuate the oppressive silence." Understand "house", "houses", "door", "doors", "window", "windows", "people", "person", "dog", "dogs", "fly", "flies", "timid", "silent", "silence", "shutter", "shutters", "bar", "bars", "barred", "few", "village", "town", and "hamlet" as scenery_litochoro. The printed name is "Litochoro".

Scenery_olympus is a backdrop. It is in Litochoro. It is in Prionia. It is in Near The Tree Line [we'll see this location later]. The description is "Olympus rises above you, snow visible on its higher slopes, and its peaks hidden by clouds." The printed name is "Mount Olympus". Understand "Olympus", "Mount", "mountain", "peak", "peaks", "height", "heightts", "summit", "slope", "slopes", "snow", "glacier", "glaciers", and "snows" as Scenery_Olympus. Instead of doing anything other than examining with scenery_olympus, say "The heights of Olympus are still far away."

Prionia is a room. It is west of Litochoro. The description is "The track from the east peters out here, at an abandoned logging camp[emdash]really, just a clearing in the pine forest. A trail winds higher into the mountains to the west, and descends to Litochoro in the east." Instead of going up in Prionia, try going west. Instead of going down in Prionia, try going east.

A rusty saw blade is a thing in Prionia. "A broken and rusted saw blade is visible, tossed aside into a bush." Understand "broken", "rusted", "tooth", "teeth", and "handsaw" as the rusty saw blade. The description is "This is about eighteen inches of saw blade, thoroughly rusted, evidently snapped from a larger saw. It retains most of its teeth and could probably still be used to cut small trees, albeit slowly."

The scenery_track2 is scenery in Litochoro. The description is "A rough track descends from the mining camp to the town of Litochoro." Instead of doing anything other than examining with the scenery_track2, try examining the scenery_track2. The printed name is "track". Understand "rough" and "track" as the scenery_track2.

The Prionia_scenery is scenery in Prionia. The description is "A few scraggly bushes dot this former logging camp. A faint trail continues up Olympus to the west, and a rough track descends to Litochoro to the east." Understand "trail", "faint", "bush", "bushes", "camp", "Prionia", "log", "logging", "scraggly", and "Prionia" as the Prionia_scenery. The printed name is "logging camp".

Some scenery_pines are a backdrop. They are in Prionia and in Near The Tree Line. The printed name is "pines". Understand "pines", "piney", "tree", "pine", "trees", "stick", "staff", "branch", "branches", "wood", "woods", "forests", and "forest" as the scenery_pines. The description is "Small pine trees grow abundantly here. Any of them would make a suitable walking stick, once cut with an appropriate instrument." Instead of cutting the scenery_pines:

if the rusty saw blade is held by the player, instead try attacking the scenery_pines with the rusty saw blade;

try attacking the rusty saw blade.

Instead of attacking the scenery_pines with the rusty saw blade:

if the walking stick is contained by the location, instead say "The walking stick you already cut is right here. One is plenty.";

say "You set to work sawing at the pines, and soon you have created a six-foot walking stick.";

move the walking stick to the location.

Instead of taking, pushing or pulling the scenery_pines, try attacking the scenery_pines.

Instead of attacking the scenery_pines, say "The pines are well-rooted. You have no hope of prevailing."

Instead of attacking the scenery_pines with something, say "[The second noun] is unable to cut the pines."

The walking stick is a thing. "A freshly-cut walking stick rests on the ground here." The description is "This walking stick has been cut from a small pine tree. It is rough but strong, and a bit taller than you are." Understand "rough", "strong", "pine", "small", "staff", "six", "foot", "six-foot", and "pole" as the walking stick. Does the player mean doing something with the walking stick: it is likely.

Test Thessalonica with "w / get cloak / wear it / w / get blade / cut tree / get stick / drop blade".

Test min-Thessalonica with "w / get cloak / wear it / w / get blade / cut tree / get stick".

Test to-prionia with "test to-mantua / test mantua / e / s / w / w / ask palinurus about thessalonica / d / test thessalonica".